WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE

bah. i hate the way the bbc uk top 40 takes until monday night to properly update with last weeks positions and highest new entries. thinking i was really clever, i got really excited by the fact that mariah careys 'all i want for christmas is you' was really high up, and literally salivated at the chance to try and render the boss phil spector esque style production on the gameboys 4 channels. with no reverb option its probably gonna be the case that i would have just ramped up the white noise filter and make it sound like jesus and mary chain. i even drew the single cover. so ill just finish it as a christmas treat for you all.

anyway. leona lewis is still hanging out at number 1, so i have to cover elvis again. trying to find new ways of covering old songs is fun. for this one:

- i didnt listen to it

- i didnt get any kind of tabulature

i simply took the lyrics and thought what kind of song i would write to fit these.

i just took these from one of the numerous soft porn and lyrics websites which are strewn across the web. i sung these from 007lyrics ( i dont know why james bond is involved in this either) :

Lord almighty,I feel my temperature rising

Higher higher

Its burning through to my soul

Girl, girl, girl

You gonna set me on fire

My brain is flaming

I dont know which way to go

Your kisses lift me higher

Like the sweet song of a choir

You light my morning sky

With burning love

Ooh, ooh, ooh,I feel my temperature rising

Help me, Im flaming

I must be a hundred and nine

Burning, burning, burning

And nothing can cool me

I just might turn into smoke

But I feel fine

Cause your kisses lift me higher

Like a sweet song of a choir

And you light my morning sky

With burning love

Its coming closer

The flames are reaching my body

Please wont you help me

I feel like Im slipping away

Its hard to breath

And my chest is a-heaving

Lord almighty,Im burning a hole where I lay

Cause your kisses lift me higher

Like the sweet song of a choir

You light my morning sky

With burning love

With burning love

Ah, ah, burning love

Im just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

how i interpreted this was:

the opening line 'Lord almighty,I feel my temperature rising' is HELLA SASSY, and the lyrics are all about feeling really warm around women.

So, i assembled a crack team of my most 'sexy' and 'hipshaking' musical tricks:

-a gameboy sample of the cowbell setting from the TR-808 ( similar to that used in ' I wanna dance with somebody' by Kevin Costners piece in that film.)

-a slippery lead line like all good G-Funk songs ( aint nothin but a g thang, anything off doggystyle by snoop dogg, most of all eyez on me by 2 pac)

and, cough:

-a 12 strong bar of back to back hand claps ( this reminded me of stock aitken and waterman (SAW). but then that reminded me of sam fox, who they wrote 'nothings gonna stop me now with'. i thought of sam fox briefly( around five minutes, enough time to source some badly rendered zx spectrum soft porn of her with her chest out) in terms of being 'sexy' and then dismissed this as a bad job. shes no leona. or amelle. on a side note, that song, along with most other SAW songs have incredibly underwhelming choruses which dont kick in or get high enough to really sound great. they kind of just grimace a bit . make it seem like they are trying.)

so the song is here: ELLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVESSIS

one final thing i noticed. you know when a vocal just leaps out of a page, and makes you think ' how did you know how i feel? how do you know me so well? i dont even know you' and your jaw just drops. and you cant stop listening to that one bit because it sums up every point of your life thus far, and you feel like you have found what you are looking for? this happened to me. im so lucky. the line is.

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Besides being freezing and alone in an attic room with a broken radiator, and weighing about 8 and a half stone, i think this pretty much sums me up.

Its quite funny though the number of people who claim to not like pop music but then can always name at least one or two pop songs in the last 3 months that they have listened to that they think are amazing. the thing is though, its probably the same for any genre of music, if you think about it. how many stand out, stand alone tracks from albums, blogs, podcasts, mobile phones on buses have you heard in the last 3 months that you think ' yes, this is just right'? there is a lot of good music. but there is only a very small amount of it in any category which is amazing. most of its just fine.