Friday 28 December 2007

CLUBLAND

why is it that any happy hardcore/ hard trance/ hardest dance/ hardstyle advert on the hits just leaves me confused, let alone hungry for more beats?

the advert pattern goes:
-blurb about how essential the mix is
-men who look like the temp guys who always get sacked from work who look forgettable talk about how essential the mix is
- underage children who are just looking not to get knocked back from a venue
talk about how essential the mix is

interspersed with this is literally 2 seconds of a speeded up vocal, followed by 5 seconds of moderate gabber techno / hoover synth pop, accompanied by a 3d logo of the artist name ( see ' STORMTROOPER' or 'DANNY REZJAM') clad all o'er in fluorescent yellow piping.

THIS THEN REPEATS FOR UP TO 5 MINUTES

WITH THE SAME SYSTEM: CONSTISTENT 7 SECOND MONTAGES OF BOSS TUNAGE BY FANTASTIC ARTISTS IN THE HARDCORE WORLD CHECK IT OUT YOU CANT GO RONG

im not gonna buy. im hoping to cash in on pitchforkmedia's italodisco revival by xeroxing all the glass candy and chromatics stuff on gameboy before the NME slash all over it with their massive paws .

p.s i think people who like happy hardcore are the same people who like cars. i dont like cars either.

No comments: